. I saw that shyt Bruce, you gonna let that sissy punk you out! ... '. Bruce quickly slapped me across the face hard enough for me to almost loose my balance. Charlie grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back in an arm lock as Daniel instructed them ' ... bring that Bitch up here we'll teach him to attack one of us! ... '. I just glared at Bruce as Charlie pulled and pushed me up the stair well to the top floor of the building. Once we reached the top floor there was three doors and one was open, I was pushed thru to find Daniel standing in the middle of the room. Evidently the people that lived there had moved out and left old furniture behind. There was a broken couch, beat up arm chair in what was the living room. I was pushed towards Daniel, who quickly shuffled me aside towards the small hallway. Bruce and Charlie closed the door and followed after me as I stopped and glanced into the bathroom. I could see trash and a stopped up toilet, the bath tube looked dingy and the face. I could make connections with people, but they were always based on my superiority in the connections. People connected with me for what it gave them and I connected for what it gave me. I had control. I had dominance. They had status by virtue of the connection."It made me pathologically selfish. I saw everything and everyone in terms of what was in it for me. I barely recognized there was another side to the equation. And, to take a page from your ubiquitous math analogies, the equation was always an inequality - Ashley is greater than whomever."It denied me the ability to appreciate almost everything. I had almost everything I wanted. I could do whatever I wanted. I could get almost anything I wanted and I never had to make much of an effort for any of it. How could I value anything when it came so effortlessly?"Look at all the work you did for me in high school and it cost me nothing. My grades cost me little effort. And all the help I got from others toward grades or whatever.
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